Screw it, I am sleeping in today and being lazy,
I don’t think I realised how exhausted I was after the 5 days on the Whanganui river. I slept for most of the night and could do with more this morning, but the sun chased me out of my baking tent.. I had some tasks today, like laundry and washing my soaked backpack from the river. It is one of the things I don’t like about the TA… the stink. I don’t want to sit next to someone on the bus or airplane while being stinky… that is so inconsiderate. All of this while catching up on my digital presence and updating my blog.
I have been thinking a lot about my time on the river in number 22, now laying upside-down, waiting for the next client… (<-Never sure about laying vs lying either, I hope I got it right). Was it great in some aspects? Absolutely yes. Was there lots to see and many new experiences? Yes to all that too. Am I glad I have done it all? Hmmm well, yes, maybe? (<- and yes maybe… with a question mark) I don’t know if I am sure about that answer. There were lots I didn’t like as well, like the huts, and people, the smoking of drugs, competitiveness between groups of people… and even some bits of the river. I must admit, most of these I avoid or mitigate probably by normaly walking against the hordes of of people, north, but while on the river I felt stuck. Stuck with all that.
While sitting here tonight, overlooking the river, while “day drinking in the park” with a coke in my hand I cannot help to wonder if this is all over. My time off, away, travelling, on the trail… all over. Over and done? Have I achieved everything I wanted too thus year? I dont know the answer to that question either, but I am not sure I am going to get it out of the TA to be honest. (Or I have to change things a little, again.) I don’t know what to think, how or even when… I started this year without a plan, a plan of how this might end, or how I might feel actually ending it. Now that the end is drawing near. Like I said, lots of thoughts…
__________
39.8946 – 175.0887
22 December 2024
FP-346
6 responses to “Contemplating on the conflicting thoughts.”
Laying vs Lying.. LOL
You even had me going on that now.. “-)
Good that you taking it easy-ish today..
You are most definitely exhausted!
Perhaps also why you not so sure about the whole experience” -)
I honestly do not know if I would have even remotely have tried to be polite re reading all about the peeps and their things and your comment on your previous blog post – ish..
Of course you are going to have lots of thoughts, questions, etc.. Now..
It’s been quite a YEAR!
Hold on to the best parts! “-)
Hopefully this is what this blog is all about… (Hold on to the best parts).
I have to be honest, it has been quite the year looking back at it. Lots to be thankful for, grateful about, and feeling exceptionally privileged.
Báie goed gedoen. Jy kan trots voel. Pragtige foto’s en baie dankie dat ek die trip saam met jou kon beleef. Ek het regtig gedink dat die trip op die water makliker sou wees. Maar nou ja die weer bly maar onvoorspelbaar. Geniet die terug vlieg n eie huis bed ens.
Dankie Jean. Ek is ook trots op my vordering, wonder maar net oor die volgende stap (like step… not walk).
Ek dink ek het ook gedink die water stukkie gaan makliker wees as wat dit was. So leer ons maar.
I have to admit I would avoid huts and people like the plague, but we are all different and let’s be honest, it used to be a way of life for me. (on my own, middle of nowhere) And I have been to some interesting ‘nowheres’ (apparently that’s not a real word) 🤓
As for what’s next, I don’t think anybody other than you can really answer that question. This is your ‘life journey’ (or at least part of it) and your crossroads has a myriad of paths, some of which have been pre-determined by actions you have already taken. The car for example will influence near-future choices.
Sitting down with someone (or more than one) and having a discussion(s) will probably help – not just answering questions but maybe posing some fresh ones and maybe coming up with a new perspective.
As always, I don’t prepare what I write here, it just flows, so you get it as it is.
I’m sure that I am not alone on here as someone who has immense admiration for what you have done with your life in recent years, and I don’t just mean the physical achievements such as the TA.
I will never forget the privilege of sharing time with you in SA while you were on this journey, and seeing where life started for you. (and meeting Urvi 😱)
As always – Kia Kaha brother
Thanks for your kind words Cliff. I guess only me can honestly make the next move and only time will tell what that might be.